Online RSVPs for a Tea Ceremony and a Reception: Inviting Each Guest to the Right Events

Many weddings are really two or three events: a tea ceremony at the family home in the morning, sometimes a church or civil ceremony, and a big reception at night. Not everyone is invited to everything — and a single shared link makes that awkward. Here's how to run RSVPs so each guest sees exactly their events, and you get numbers your venue can use.

The problem with one link for everyone

If the same invitation goes to everyone, you have two bad options: show every event and risk 80 people turning up at the tea ceremony in your parents' living room, or leave the morning off and send the family a separate message. And with an open RSVP form, "+ guests" adds up fast — a single invitation to "the Tran family" can come back as seven seats.

Give each household its own link

A private link per guest or household solves both problems at once:

• It greets them by name — "Kính mời Cô Chú Hải" or "Dear Emily & David".
• It holds their seats. If you saved two seats for a couple, the RSVP form offers one or two — never five. The limit is checked on the server, not just on screen.
• It shows only their events. Family links include the tea ceremony; everyone else sees the reception.

Set up your events

1. List each event with its own time and address: tea ceremony at the bride's family home (Lễ Vu Quy), the groom's (Lễ Thành Hôn), the ceremony, the reception.
2. Mark private events as invite-only. They stay hidden from the shared link and appear only for the guests you add them to.
3. Hide the home address if you prefer — it can be shown only to guests who RSVP yes.

Build the guest list once

Most couples already have a list in Excel or Google Sheets from their parents. Import it rather than typing: one row per household, with the number of seats, which side (bride's or groom's), language, phone or email, and which events they're invited to. A good importer lets you map your own column names instead of forcing a template.

Then send each household its link the way your family actually communicates — text, Messenger, Zalo, email — or print the QR code for each guest on a paper card for the elders.

Deadlines and reminders

• Set the RSVP deadline about three to four weeks before the wedding — most venues need a final count about two weeks out.
• Watch who has opened their link. If a household hasn't opened the invitation at all, a phone call works better than another message.
• Send one gentle reminder to those who haven't answered and left an email. One is enough.
• Let guests change their answer until the deadline — plans change, and an accurate count matters more than a first answer.

Recording answers you get by phone

Some relatives will call your mom instead of tapping a link. That's fine — record their answer yourself so the list stays the single source of truth. Each change should be kept in a history, so nobody has to remember who said what.

Exporting for the venue

A week or two before the wedding, export the final list with confirmed seats per household, side, and any notes (dietary needs, high chairs). That's the sheet your venue and planner need for seating.

Checklist

• Each event has its own time, address and "invite-only" setting.
• Every household has its own link with the right seats and events.
• The RSVP deadline is three to four weeks out, with one reminder.
• Phone answers are recorded in the list.
• The final export goes to the venue two weeks before.

Private guest links, seat limits, invite-only events, imports from Excel or Google Sheets and RSVP reminders are part of Lumière's Signature plan.